So the first face palm incident of the July 2004 issue was a fun story with the headline “What Downturn?” which covered how the thriving boating industry was untouchable. This headline was almost enough to motivate me to walk to the end hall to the archives room to pull the June 2008 issue to see what we said then about an “untouchable” recreational industry. But alas, the need to finish this story in a timely manner won out and I’m just assuming the tone wasn’t the same during the harder economic years. The story was full of little gems like, “the ease of getting a marine loan” and “Don’t worry about the price tag because it will be worth it.” The story did remind me how fun boating is now and how glad I am things are looking up. Let’s all help out the country and go buy a new boat!
The next story I thought was amazing. It was about a hydraulic lift that easily moves up to 350 pounds in and out of the water, like one of the awesome chair lifts that go up and down stairs, but for your boat. Now that I’m reading this, I’m feeling kind of lazy. I need a lift so I don’t have to pull myself back up on the boat! I’m not going to walk down a hallway for investigative journalism purposes! If I wasn’t parked in two-hour parking, I would quit drinking coffee and I would never have to move again! I promise I’m not usually this unmotivated, but staring at a boat lift that will lower users directly into the water sounds awesome. The point of the lift, according to the story, is you won’t put yourself in compromising bathing suit positions as you pull yourself in. This is good enough for me.
Our caption contest was a picture of baby triplets in life jackets on a pontoon. Cuteness overload. I picked up the phone and called my husband to tell him I wanted triplets I could dress in matching clothes and take boating. He actually said it didn’t sound like fun, but did sound extremely expensive and time-consuming. He is such a downer. Babies are such blessings, let’s all have triplets! If I ever get my triplets, you’ll be the first to know. Obviously I won’t tell my man because he won’t be excited.
Ten years ago, we did a roundup on pontoons that cost less than $15,000. I was pretty impressed on the options. If I had to guess, I’m almost certain we could write the same story for your best options for under $20,000 today. Yes, the amenities would be where the sacrifice lies, but it would definitely be a boat worth owning.
One of the last stories in the magazine was about skin cancer and precautions to take when you plan to spend the day on the lake. All of this is well and good, but the lead photo in the story was a huge bright red man in a Speedo. There are things in this world that I don’t think any of us need to see. Let’s put this as number two on the list after seeing someone water ski completely naked. The moral of this story is it’s bad to wear a Speedo if you aren’t built for one, but it’s much worse to leave off the swimsuit altogether.
